Saturday, December 31, 2011

Retiring the Tattered Jacket

Let me tell you a little tale. Or rather, a documentation of a period/ style of my life. Story Time with Morgan. Yes yes, believe it or not, everything I am going to write about is 100% true.

When did it all start? who knows. But I'm going to tell the the story of my wild years. round about seventh grade I suppose is where it all began. The mismatched shoes, the colorful clothes, the frantic ideas and strange situations. Back in the day, it all started as a joke. The costumes and such. My way of making fun of click's and the silly social rules that exist. I started to become famous for my Orange pants and mismatched shoes. The people of Centennial loved it (well some of them). One kid legitimately wrote a song about my pants and sang it everytime he saw me. Anyways, it was during those times that I began to mold myself, into the person who doesn't care what other people think of him. But high school, that's where it really went wild. I didn't stop at the pants. Oh no. I moved on to Dresses, skirts, strange clothes, tophats and so on. And I was crazy. Nothing could stop me. I was on a warpath. Always trying to top my last stunt. Saying crazy things, doing crazy stuff. And then there came the Pink Floyd era. I became addicted to the album The Wall. listened to it over and over and over. I would listen to it and dance around my room, chanting, howling. I was watching all kinds of crazy surrealist movies and such. At one point, I legitimately thought I had gone insane. That I would never be able to think straight again. These were wild times. Times when I lived by the phrase "anything goes". And I didn't care what happened to me. Then the impulses came. Bam! they'd hit me lick a brick. completely take over. And I'd end up doing wild stuff. like: leaving secret packages on a girl's doorstep at 3 a.m. (which is actually one I'm really glad I did), dumping gasoline on a $200 ipod and lighting it on fire, painting all over my shirt and face rather than the canvas. Other things like that. And I sure made some pretty stupid decisions during that time period. I was becoming a monster. For a while, a ton of people thought I was a homosexual (which i'm not. trust me, you'd know. I don't care too much for closets) because I'd go to dances and dance with guys, and act gay, just for the heck of it and to freak people out. But I was starting to Hunter S. Thompson myself. Meaning: I had built a reputation I couldn't live up to anymore. People expected me to wear orange every day. and when I didn't, they were disappointed. Costumes had to get crazier and crazier. you have no idea how hard it was to think up things for Halloween! I couldn't live without madness and chaos. And oh boy, you should have seen me when I was time I started eating gravel (not too tasty, wouldn't recommend it). I was killing off what I guess you might call my "sweet side". 

Then I started to realize "wait a minute, this isn't who I am. This is what I have become". But I couldn't get out. And I just wanted people to see me for who I really was/am. Not this monster I had become. All kinds of rumors were going around about me. Which at first was kind of flattering. Then they got out of hand. In fact, just a few weeks ago I was asked about one. Apparently some people had been told, and actually believed, that I would capture my neighbors cats, brutally slice them up, and eat them. I kid you not, that is a legitimate rumor that was out there...don't know where that came from, but apparently people actually believed it. Lot's of people also assumed I was some crazy drug maniac. Fortunately I never really got into that scene, cause I probably would have been. Collected quite a wardrobe though. I was looking at it the other day and thought to myself "Geez, all I need to do is move to Vegas, I mean I already look like I could be a cocaine fiend". Though I have lost most my interest in dressing up now. But then, I threw in the jacket.

.....To Be Continued   

Monday, December 26, 2011

The End

I was at the top of my game.
The perfect hand.
I had seen the light.
And I knew how I was going to play my cards.

Then the tide changed.

I don’t know why.
Or how it happened.
But I fell.
Just when I was about to lay it down,
I lost it all.

Maybe it wasn’t meant to be.

But I’d worked so hard.
Given it my all.
And somehow I paved the way for another.
Gave him all the keys.
Taught him all the tricks.

I thought it was the one.
I was in for the kill.
But in the end, I won nothing.
Nothing but a fit of jealous rage.
And a dark black hole to be sick in.

And I screamed out at the world.

Cursed it’s very name.
I tried to escape.
Tried to escape.
But I couldn’t.

For deep down, I still want to play the game.

But why?
There is nothing in it anymore.
No strawberry pancakes.
No subtle convictions.
No more adventures.

All I have left is a Fool’s hope
And a shiny dagger.

Saturday, December 24, 2011


Dear Little Brother, 

     You gave me quite a scare this morning. I awoke to find that you decided to give Mom a night of excitement and a trip to the hospital. Let's just say you made a big splash. Now I suppose the waiting game begins. But take your time. There's no rush. I'm sure you've heard talk about all the exciting festivities going on this winter month. And I imagine you want in on them. But you'll get your chance. There are many holiday seasons yet to come. The world can be a dark dark place. The way I see it, there is no hurry to get out here. Yet there is still  much good to be found. I look forward to meeting you. Don't tell anyone, but between you and me, I actually am a sucker for newborns. I love to hold them in my arms and ponder the beauty of life. How innocently it begins. I wish I were innocent again. Even though I'm nearly 18 years older than you are going to be, we'll still have good time together. It will be weird growing up, As I have to get on with my life, I feel that the next few years won't provide us enough time to get acquainted. But don't worry, we'll have our days, our grand adventures.

      When Zander said we should name you "Geronimo Stiltskin" he was only joking, or maybe confused. You don't need to live up to his name for you. For I have been told the name we'll call you is Leo. The lion of zion. hmm. maybe that will be my nickname for you. Though maybe it's your time, I mean what do I know? That's between You, Mother, and God. You're a lucky one little brother. you've already got a lot going for you. Great parents, and a whole slew of siblings who love you dearly. You're going to live a good life, full of beauty and happiness. I can feel it in my heart. But times are going to get tough. I can understand that. It's just a part of life. Just remember, there are people who care for you, who love you. And I'll always have an open ear if you need someone to talk to. Even at 3 a.m. when you sneak out of the house to pay me a visit.

                                                                                                                        Big Brother

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

They Know Where to Find Me

I think I've paid my dues. Spent enough time chasing girls. Now I'm going to retire for a while. As my dad always used to say "Girls are nothing but trouble". I'm finally starting to believe him a little. Oh well, whatever. I regret nothing about all my romantic days. They'll come again. I think one of the problems is: a lot of women probably can't handle me. Meaning, I'm too crazy, with my whacky costumes, spur of the moment ideas and such. Also, I'm super open and honest about my life. I feel like that kind of scares the ladies away. and the fact that 97% of the time I could care less what people think of me factors into all of that too, cause I pretty much just do what I want. And maybe I'm completely mistaken, but it seems like all that tends to add up. But hey, That's who I am. And I'm not about to change that for any silly girls. Truth be told, I'm still completely mystified/confused/shocked over how my last two would be heartbreaking experiences have had no effect on me at all. It freaks me out. So yeah, I'm going to take a break for a while, quit worrying about all that stuff and just live life. I figure if the ladies are interested, they know where to find me....I think?

Monday, December 12, 2011

Gave Into the Evil

Well everyone, if you didn't already know, I gave into the evil and got a cellphone. Yep. Now why on earth would I do that? well, I figured it was finally convenient enough to get one. Decided I would actually use it. And so far I have. It's been pretty nice for communication abilities. But I do have to say, I'm not so sure how much I like the idea that people can always track me down now. So yeah, I got it for the purpose of easy conversation, a secret reason, and to help people out. I decided I wanted to be able to be contacted by my friends if they were feeling down, needed help with something, just wanted to chat, or hang out. so if you ever find yourself wanting to do any of those things, give me a ring (or you can send me one of those new fangled text messages). The only time I won't answer, is if I'm busy at work, driving, or doing something else highly important (which isn't very often). Seriously, if you're feeling down, want to talk about things or whatever, don't be afraid to call. Even at ridiculous hours of the night or morning. I mean who needs sleep anyways? (but if you want to get a hold of me during the night, it's best to call). Anyways, call me sometime. 801-440-4585

Thursday, December 8, 2011

A Week of Misfortune?

Girl troubles. All of them at once. Now that I've caught your attention, it's story time. Last friday, I discovered that this girl I like is moving...but I didn't hear it from her. So for the first time, the song Heard it Through the Grapevine by CCR was applicable to my life. Though she did not personally tell me until this Tuesday that she would be moving. Moving moving moving away. That very same day (tuesday) I discovered that she was asked out by another guy. Thus making her not single anymore. I kind of saw it coming though. I was beat to the punch line. Though I'm not sure if I would have asked her out. but given another week or so, It's more than likely I would have. 
Which brings us to round two. Wednesday I was talking to my friend about this girl he may like. He and her have been flirting it up a bit recently. uhh nevermind. I'm going to end that story there. For both their sakes. Anyways, Wednesday afternoon I was pulled aside by this other lovely lady I like and we had a little chat. Possibly the most confusing conversation I've ever had. Learned many interesting things from it though. What I think she was getting at is: let's just be friends. I have to say, I truly admire her for having the guts to do it! I mean that's pretty hard to go up to someone and tell them how it is, especially if you are friends and don't want to hurt them. I think it was probably pretty awkward for her too. But for me personally, it wasn't. Cause there are very few situations that I find awkward (but that's a whole other story I shan't tell). But now I think we're headed in the direction of one of those awful stages where we don't talk to eachother, cause I'm supposed to be heart broken, and she feels bad. I really really hate that stage. It seems to ruin a friendship like no other. Least from my experiences with it. and I don't want that at all. AT ALL! 
Now for the last part. yeah, yeah, I know I should be super sad and probably crying my eyes out right now. With two broken hearts. But the truth is, neither of these experiences have made me even a tiny bit sad, mad, depressed, or any of that. and I'm not going to drive any cars off a cliff because of it. (though I'd maybe drive one off, but just for an adrenaline rush, and to say I did). The thing is, normally this kind of situation would make me crazy depressed. But if anything, It's put me in an ever better mood. I'm not kidding. This is 100% straight cold truth. Legitimately the strangest phenomena I've ever experienced in my life. Let's just say prayers are answered in the most peculiar of ways sometimes. Now it's time to make sure that whole awkward avoiding stage thing gets kicked in the face. So I'm going to try my hardest! I suppose I don't have much good luck with the ladies, but someday I'll find the one. And when I do, I'll marry her.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

The Never Ending Love Story?

Never in my life have I liked a girl for this long. And at first I just kind of figured it would be the same as all my other little flings. Lasting maybe about a month. But this has not been the case. It's been a year now. And there have been times in between, where I have tried to like other girls. But at the end of the day I end up saying "Morgan Knapp. who do you think you are kidding? stay true to your heart, cause none of them compare to her". And there is something really special about her, or rather, many things. Though I'm not sure I really understand what it is. But I do know that she has helped me through so many hard times. She never fails to cheer me up. She inspires me to be a better person, to do what I know is right. I truly love every moment I spend with her, it's created some sweet memories that are very precious to me. I can be myself around her too. there is no pressure to show off, or be someone I'm not. Truth be told, I'm not even sure if she likes me or not. But I'm hopeful, or maybe just foolish. But  It's been so good for me and my development as a person, to be in love with her. and I regret nothing. So thanks for making my life a better place.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

what can I say?

no really. what can I say? I was going to write about something. But now I've forgotten. Oh well. Wait Wait Wait! it's coming back to me. Ok got it.

I haven't written in a while. quite a shame. But I haven't been in much of a writing mood/nothing super duper exciting has been going on. So I suppose I will tell some mini stories. Thanksgiving week. Usually a fun week. But this time around it was terribly unexciting. I worked every night during the break except Thursday. Which is good I guess, makin money and all that jazz. which leads to story number one. Wednesday It was kind of slow. So I decided to refill the chalk balls. A few minutes into doing that, I realized how crazy it looked. I was down on the floor behind the desk, with a big black bin, from which I was scooping fine white powder out of a plastic bag with a spoon. And then dumping it in the small empty cloth chalk balls. Nope. Definitely didn't look like I was a drug dealer or anything. At one point this guy was giving me a weird look. I said to him "don't worrry. Just trying to generate some more revenue." fortunately he knew I was joking...I think.
Thanksgiving day itself was nothing exciting. Actually really boring. We got together with pretty much all of our extended family on the Knapp side for food and festivities. A few of my cousins and I went and saw a movie that night. that was pretty much it.
Friday was the best day of the break. I was fortunate enough to be invited to make Toffee with Jess and Genevieve. That was pretty exciting. And kind of messy. The results were tasty, or at least the second batch. Then we played Words of Wiz-Dumb. Quite a fun game, even though I didn't do too great. After a lovely afternoon of partying with them, it was off to work.
This kid name Tyler who volunteers at the Quarry, was telling us horror stories from black Friday. He works at Walmart in Springville. He had to break up 10 fist fights, watched a lady pepper spray some guy over an Xbox, and had to help arrest another customer. Sounded pretty awful to me! Though I kind of really want to go next year. Just to watch the chaos and probably cry a little bit because of how greedy people are.
Saturday I didn't really do anything. went to work again. Holly, Ethan, and Kendall dropped in to say hello. It was fun to see them. too bad I was working so we couldn't do anything though.
so yeah. that was my thanksgiving break. oh wait! I also began applying for colleges. It's really no fun at all filling out all those forms.

Saturday, November 12, 2011


And now for the story you've all been waiting for. Drum Roll please. 11/11/11, what a great day! but first let me give a little background story. So Walden decided to throw a Fall Harvest dance party last night. Two weeks ago I was wondering who I should take and if I was even going to go. This monday I decided I would go. But who would I ask? I had a few ladies I was considering. But Tuesday, Dallas told me I should ask Kaitlyn's best friend Maisa. they'd been trying to set me up on a date with her before, but I was always like "yeah but I don't even know her!". Anyways, I looked at Dallas and thought for a minute. He said "After all, She is Brazilian" Which leads to a completely other story which I could probably write a page or two about but won't right now. "When am I supposed to ask her though? I'm busy every day this week. Wait, how bout at lunch?" 30 minutes later, I found myself waltzing in through the doors of Timpanogos high school to ask a girl I had never met before to the dance. Yep, put another check mark on the list of crazy things I've done. She said yes. Skip back to Yesterday. I went to Dallas's house at 5. At 6 we headed over to Kaitlyn's house to pick on the ladies. Truth be told, I was completely nervous on the trip over. Which is strange, Cause I rarely get nervous about anything. In fact, I wasn't even nervous when I asked her to the dance. After waiting for a few minutes, the Ladies came out...and man did they look great! Picture time! then off to dinner at Pier 49. I still have no idea how I didn't choke to death at dinner. It was so funny, we were all cracking jokes and such,I laughed the whole time. Then we ventured up to the dance which was at a barn. The dance was alright. Pretty decent turnout. But it was also kind of boring, so we left early. The 4 of us drove off to Timpanogos highschool to kiss on the T. but Only Kaitlyn and Dallas did. Then we headed to some park. Those two jumped out and ran off kiss some more. Maisa and I stayed in the car just cuddling and talking about all kinds of random getting to know you things. She is quite the crack up. a while later the hooligans returned and we drove off to Walmart. Maisa wanted to get some goldfish. So we ventured around Walmart at midnight. Playing with all kinds of strange toys, holding hands, wreaking havoc, and so forth. She got two goldfish. Cosmo and Wanda, also referred to as Morgan and Maisa. roughly around 1:00 we headed for home. Dallas tucked Kaitlyn in, while Maisa fell asleep on my lap. Then we took her home. Good times! I'm not entirely sure, but I'm pretty sure we planned like two more dates. I made it home at 2:00 a.m. my mom was pretty mad cause apparently she had told me to be home at 12:30...selective hearing, ain't it great? At 4 a.m. I woke up and thought to myself "was that all a dream?! No No No, my dreams are never that good, it must have happened". Anyways, I had a really really great time! Really fun and pretty relaxed evening, and I thoroughly enjoyed Maisa presence. I hope we do something again soon!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Oh What A Day!

Let me give you an example of what my day to day life is like. Today was crazy. But it was only memorable because the last month or so my average day has been less awesome as it typically is. 

Woke up at 6:00. went to Early Morning Seminary, which was pretty much same as usual. But after, I sat down and was about to work on my Senior paper when Koplin walked up the stairs. He also has a free first period. So we walked down the hallway and found Dylan and Morgan J hanging out. Then decided it would be a good idea to go to Magelby's for some breakfast (or second breakfast in my case). Koplin, Morgan and I snuck out of the school, making sure no one would see us and jumped in Koplin's car. Owens came running out at the last second and jumped in too. We went and got us some tasty foodage. Then headed back to the school with our tasty treats. Ate it in the hallway. Then Dallas and Tyler showed up. We had an interesting conversation about things I'm not going to repeat. Then First period ended. I was going to work on my paper now since I don't have a second period either. But decided to visit Algebra 2 instead. It's a really good class. lot's of fun people in there. Took Josh (the teacher) a while to realize I wasn't actually in the class. But I stuck around and helped tutor them children in math. Holly brought a friend (who between you and me, looks kind of like Selena Gomez) she seemed pretty cool. Then after that class, hung around a minute and ran off to Lunch with Karl. We headed to McDonalds. But we needed onion rings! so we then headed to uhhh some place that slips my mind now. Anyways, we saw the saddest man there. He was taking orders and looked pretty depressed. Felt bad for him. They gave me the biggest onion rings I have ever seen! I seriously could have slipped them over my hand and worn them as bracelets. But they were also 3-4 inches in width! pretty good and super greasy. Then it was back to school and off to AP Calculus. Where my mind was destroyed with crazy derivative business. After that class....I have another free period. So I decided to Stalk Annika who was in the hallway. Jairen stalked me stalking her. It was good times. We followed her around everywhere for nearly 20 minutes. Then decided to leave. That's when we saw Holly. So we stalked her and her friend to Spanish class. Luckily she was the TA. and they were working on projects, so we went outside and did/talked about all kinds of nonsense. I ended up wearing her sweater tied around my neck, and some floppy woman's sun hat. Not a bad look for me I must say. Then we went back into the classroom and talked with a few of the other students of which I won't name cause there were too many. The school was out. Walked around for a bit since I can't leave till my younger siblings get out 15 minutes later. Shook Kaitlyn's hand for roughly 8 minutes straight. The ended up be wrapped and tied up in some obscure banner Owens and Jairen found. Then they dragged me around the hallway and left me for dead in the elevator. El Teacher Carl yelled at me for being there, when he saw owens putting me there. Obviously it wasn't my fault cause I was tied up and helpless! but whatever. After escaping, I went home. Walked inside with Holly's sweater around my neck. My mom said "I don't even want to know". Tried to do my math homework. but the website wouldn't work so I signed up to take the ACT instead. It asked me if I wanted to be a lawn mower operator or a Tree repair man (whatever that is!). It was then dinner time. My sister Sierra was sitting there drinking pickle juice just like it was milk or something. Randomly during the middle of dinner, my 2.5 year old cousin who lives up the street walks right in through our front door. And let me tell you, they keep all the doors and everything locked so he can't escape, but somehow he managed to. All in all, it's been a good day in my book. and soon I'm going to head to a Ski movie at UVU and probably experience some more madness.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Manic Depression

well I don't know how to start this. so let's just jump right in. I have a severe case of senioritis. A term which here means: I absolutely can't stand being a senior. Hate it. I have no hopes or dreams for the future. Recently I have lost nearly all interest in everything. I find no excitement or satisfaction in the things I once loved. So what am I supposed to do now?! Also recently I have lost almost all of my appetite. have to force myself to eat. Sleep is fading too. I can't seem to sleep well at all lately, which is something I have never had a problem with. I think I may be dying. if so, hopefully 'Ol Mr. Reaper visits me sooner than later. I've been super depressed lately too, and I'm not entirely sure why. I feel sick. but not flu sick, more like a disgusted sick. to quote one of my favorite songs "I can't see much difference between the dark and the light". speaking of which, the entire self titled Violent femmes album seems to describe my life pretty well. For example: And I think I may also be slightly bi polar. but who knows. This is going to be a hard winter. At this point I have very little or no hope for anything and everything. I feel like a one hit wonder band from the 80' one cares about me any more. which I know is not true, but that's what it feels like.

I just want to find happiness.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Stop That Train I'm Leavin

Used up. Burned out. Life. I'm tired of it. I just don't want to go on anymore. I see no point to it. Though I'm not suicidal. But heck, not that even matters in my case, cause truth be told I'd probably just randomly slit my wrist or something cause I was bored. And I know I could do it without even thinking twice. The more I think about it, the less I see what the point of going on. What am I living for? honestly I have no idea. not very psyched about the future. I used to look forward to marriage and all that. But my hope in love has dwindled.But where did I go wrong? I used to be so happy and excited about everything...then last year came around and killed it. Though it's gotten slightly better this year. One of my biggest problems currently is that I don't know what I love to do. Or rather, there is nothing I love to do. Many things I enjoy doing, but I wouldn't say love. The whole Idea of going to college, growing up and working for the rest of my life, then getting old, isn't appealing to me. Even thinking about just doing fun stuff for the rest of my life instead of all that, doesn't sound entertaining. Also I feel like I've turned in to a Jekyll/Hyde case. And every time I try to do what's right it seems like it all goes wrong. Which then leads to thinking "why should I even bother trying to do what's right?" from there I think "I know doing what's right will be best though. result in true happiness". then I attempt doing what's right and the whole cycle starts over again. Used up. Burned out.

I need a vacation.

Monday, October 17, 2011


I realize that after the last few blog posts, you guys probably all think I'm completely crazy. Heck, I probably am. Anyways, I'm in a thought collecting mood. so here are some of mine: 

  • what am I going to do with my life?
  • what are you going to do with yours?
  • I need to master an Instrument!
  • the term is almost over...wahooo! I've been waiting for this quite some time now. Cause it means that I'm only going to have 3 maybe 4 classes now. Which in turn means I can get a bunch of painting done. Have a few ideas that are driving me crazy right now.
  • The new Tom Waits album is pretty good. So far not my favorite, but music typically grows on me over time.
  • I wrote a poem the other day, loosely based off/inspired by a painting I did. It's for make up credit in Poetry/Art Fusion class. It was a strange experience. I just sat down to write, with a general idea in my  head and all this stuff spilled out. It's a pretty depressing poem about death. The real strange part about it though is that I was like channeling the energy of someone else. Typically if I write poetry it's about self experiences. Though nothing included in this poem has happened to me. It's a pretty nice one. I'm proud of it, still have no idea where it came from though. Ask nicely and maybe I'll read it to you sometime.
  • I need to get back to reading all those classical books I purchased.
  • I need to hang out with more people.
  • Apparently I'm pretty good at impersonating people. Specifically vocally. Sometimes I can do a pretty good Tom Waits, or Jim Morrison, or Ringo Starr. But I can also do Oscar from Hey Arnold. and every random once in a while, I can do a good job at mimicking a few of my friends. But mostly I have to be in certain moods to do that stuff.
  • love is a battlefield (oh wait, I really really hate that song)
  • I should try writing a song or two. but I don't really know what to write about.
  • I think it might have been a year ago from today that I shaved my head.
  • Need to figure out how to kidnap all my friends (you guys) off to college with me. It will be way sad without you.
  • Numba 9 is a boy
  • I was picking apples from my grandparents tree today and a few tried to fall down and kill me. 
  • My dad just bought a VW Synchro. He's going to go pick it up tomorrow in Vernal.
  • Think I'll do pretty good on my Calculus test this Wednesday.
  • looking forward to spending the weekend at the cabin. It'll be nice to get away and relax. Hopefully get some reading and writing done.
  • hey psst, you, yes you, I love you!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Thursdee Adventures

This last thursday, I had the pleasure of taking a lovely young lady on a date. I don't know how I tricked her into that. but I'm going to briefly summarize how I asked her (cause I think it's a fun story). So a few weeks ago I decided I was going to ask Genevieve on a date. I then proceeded to find a large brown envelope and in it I put a random story that I had written over the summer. Somewhere in the middle of the book, I asked her if she'd go on a date with me. Then at 3:00 a.m. I drove to her house and dropped the package off on the porch. Drove home, went back to bed, woke up four hours later and jumped on a plane to California. Skip ahead to thursday. Picked her up at 5. then we went Mini golfing. It was alright, mostly just fun to hang out with her...I'd forgotten how boring mini golf really is. But oh well. From there we decided to go to a park and kill some time before our next activity. So we played on the swing set and talked about life: past, present, and future. From there we left and drove around a few more minutes before arriving at the Asplund's house. Lara (one of our teachers) had invited us to an experimental music show she and her husband were hosting. It was supper cool. This guy way a percussionist playing all kinds of crazy things. He used violin bows on his cymbals and stuff like that. Really fascinating. After that was over, I took her home. Thus ending my second official date (yes yes, I know I'm a slacker. guess I haven't caught the dating bug yet). It was good  times in my book. Just a nice casual friend date. But the story does not end there! 

As I was nearly home, I ran the second red light in my life. I gauged it wrong and should have stopped, but it turned red right before I was in the intersection. "oh crap I thought, that was pretty darn red" Bet you can't guess where this is going. few seconds later there was a copper on my tail. "oh no!" I thought. So I pulled over. First there is one thing you need to understand: cops don't scare me at all. I know tons of people that turn off the road and such when they even see a cop. But I really could care less about them at all. Just not something I worry about. Also, I'm a super super careful driver. Rarely ever speed or anything. So this was kind of a fluke incident. Anyways, as I was pulled over, I legitimately was sitting in my car laughing. I thought it was funny. not like "oh this really sucks my parents are going to kill me kind of funny" but a "this is honestly funny." Anyways, the cop came over with his nice big handle bar mustache, took my I.D. (that looks nothing like me cause I have no hair anymore) and registration. Blah Blah Blah. anyways, I got a ticket and went home still laughing and told my parents. They didn't really care, but were surprised I had actually run a light. It's weird, but I feel like there is a special reason why I got a ticket. Destiny or something. Who knows, maybe I'll meet my future wife at traffic school or some other crazy thing. Anyways, I have to wait five days then go to the court building to pay the fine or figure out traffic school. I'll more than likely do the second, so I can get it erased from my record. 

Yeah, quite an exciting day. good times.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Polar Opposites

So yesterday (friday) night I went to Salt Lake to see a band called OFF! They're a hardcore punk band from California. Super great. Their singer is none other than Keith Morris. (a previous singer of Black Flag, and the founder of the Circle Jerks). Randomly last year he decided to pull together a band and record some stuff. and now they're touring. So of course I had to go see them! It was the second smallest concert I've ever been to, aside from local ones. probably no more than 60 people there, and 15 of those were from the other opening bands. anyways, keith walked on stage all calm like, set up his mike and taped down the set list. then they started playing. He completely changed into a different person. Dancing around, veins bulging on his neck. He was possessed or something. it was great! best part is, he's probably almost 50 years old. still just as hard core as ever. I was right up in front of the stage. the guitarist was so close I could have reached out and played his guitar for him. In fact, he nearly kicked me in the face a few times. twice during the show he was so close and head banging, that his hair actually hit me. and let me tell you, he does not have long hair! doesn't quite go down to his lips. Anyways, they played every song they've written as OFF! with a few pauses in between where Keith talked about random things.  They played roughly 45 minutes tops and the show was over. But get this, after the show was done, they walked off stage and we cheered for an encore. So finally they came back on and Keith started telling a story. "back in the early days, when my band was starting to get a bigger following, people would cheer for an encore. But we didn't really know what to play. We had written like 4 more songs recently, but we weren't good enough to play them yet. So we'd just start the set all over again." just then, they busted back into the first song they played that night. and they played the first three songs of the show over again. It was so great! I'd never even heard of that! Here's a taste of their music:

After the show, my dad went over and bought their cd titled "The first 4 EP's" and that's what it is, a collection of their EP's. we listened to it. There are 16 songs on the cd and the whole thing can't be longer than 10 minutes.

Now it's story time. Back in my junior high days, I was often referred to as "the Hippie punk" cause well, I love all that 60's music as well as hardcore punk. My two favorite genres are Hardcore punk and 60's Jam bands. polar opposites. Punk is just so great! I grew up on that stuff (as well as the 60's stuff). I'd personally love to be in a punk band. It seems so fun! Punk typically gets a bad rap as being simple "anyone can do it" music to play. and some of it is, but that's generally not true. Punk musicians are super talented. I mean to be able to play things that fast is ridiculous. I've learned a few Minor Threat bass lines and they are relatively simple, but not when you have to play them to speed! It's funny cause most people these days just think I'm a hippie...little do they know.
Also I think it's super funny that in under a week, I went from seeing the Grateful Dead to seeing OFF!  I mean there were only like 3 songs the dead played that were shorter than 9 minutes. one song of theirs is as long as 16 of OFF!'s.

Man I love music

Thursday, October 6, 2011


It is now time to tell you of my latest adventure(It's kind of a long one, but it provides great insight into my life, maybe even the most important post on this whole blog). Which involves much music. For you see Furthur is essentially the Grateful Dead. It's the rhythm guitarist Bob Weir, and the Bassist Phil Lesh with a group of very talented musicians playing pretty much only Grateful Dead tunes.  But that could be a whole story itself.  

So it all started out in May. when I heard Furthur was going to be touring. We bought our tickets early and then I had to sit around all summer waiting for the day to come. and it came! the first show we saw was in Salt Lake Wednesday 9/28/11. So my father and I traveled up there with our good hippie buddy Larry Harper and his girlfriend Megan. We were planning on meeting Brad at the show (he was driving down from Pocatello). So we got into the show and they started pretty much right on time. I was completely blown away at how good they were sounding. It was so crazy! they played tons of old stuff that the Grateful Dead hadn't played in like 25 years! not to mention they played the entire Terrapin Suite! It was a phenomenal show (here's the Set List if you're interested). After the show we walked around Shakedown Street (the name of a dead song, but also what we call the gathering place where everyone is selling shirts, jewelry, veggie burritos, drugs and such). I decided I wanted to buy a T-shirt for every show we saw. Then it was off for home. got there about 2:00 a.m.

The next morning I decided to wake up at 6 and go to seminary. then it was back home and off to Colorado to see Furthur play 3 more shows. We traveled pretty much the whole day (Brad, My dad, and I). We stopped in Silt Colorado to spend the night at my aunt and uncles house. The next morning (friday) we woke up and drove to Morrison, Colorado which is just outside of Denver, and is the home to Red Rocks Amphitheater. A truly remarkable place. It's a natural amphitheater, with a red rock wall behind the stage and up both sides of the venue as well. It's considered to be one of the most beautiful concert venues in the world. We had traveled there a few years earlier to see Mr. Bob Dylan. Anyways, we got there to find that all the camping sites in the area were either closed or full. so we back tracked to a town called Central City. Here's some pictures of it.
 Basically it was an old mining town up in the mountains. It's a really neat/strange place. you feel like you are in a western movie with all the old buildings. All of them are pretty much casinos though. which is probably how the place has survived. Anyways, we then headed back over to Red Rocks for our dinner reservation at their lovely restaurant. after which we proceeded to our seats for the concert. And what a show it was...again. They were just as great. And of course they played all kinds of crazy stuff again. But different stuff. Cause that's the thing about the Grateful Dead, they don't play the same songs very often cause they don't need to. They have so
many songs it's not even funny. and when they do play the same song, it's different cause they're a jam band. That's a reason they have such a devout following, cause it's so diverse and you never know what you're going to get. anyways here is a picture of us that first night.
and this blog is being very uncooperative with picture placement. anyways, The show was 3 hours long (cause that's how long they always play). here's the Set List for that.

The next day we woke up, headed over to Johnny Z's, one of the casinos for breakfast. said you had to be 21 to enter...good thing for facial hair. I just walked right in. after breakfast we headed up into the mountains just outside of town to the cemetery. which turned out to be cemeteries. there were at least 4 different ones. tons of old graves mostly around the 1800's, tucked back in the golden aspen trees. After we went walking around the town a little. Then it was back to Red Rocks for another great show. I went on the quest for more shirts and was successful. What an amazing show that was too! get your Set List here. 

Sunday morning we had to run Brad to the Denver airport so he could attend his mothers funeral the next morning. She passed away the morning of the salt lake show. Which is really good timing, cause seeing the Dead can help you get through anything, but I'll talk about that more in a minute. After we dropped him off, Dad and I headed to the Denver Museum of Art. I'd been there a few years earlier on a school trip and wanted to return. Sadly it wasn't as good as I had remembered it. but we had nothing better to do anyways. I bet you'll never guess what we did next....headed back to Red Rocks for the last show that we'd be seeing on their tour. It was a little earlier than the other two shows. And it wasn't sold out like the last two. Right before the show we were down at Shakedown street looking for more shirts and this guy was selling a Calvin and Hobbes Standing on the Moon shirt. So I bought it. and My dad was saying "now that you've got that, they're totally going to play Standing on the Moon tonight". Which is such an amazingly beautiful song. I love it. and what do you know, they played it! it was an amazing show. nother  Set List . also here's a picture of us that night. they pulled out all the stops. every song they played was just sooooo good. 
 I was left completely speechless.

 That night we drove back to my Aunts house. Monday morning we got up and headed for home. Listened to the Salt Lake show over and over the whole ride back. That's one of the cool things about the Dead, you can buy the show you just attended a few minutes after its over. Sadly I only bought that one then, but I have all of the others now.

Now for the wrap up. There is no way to describe a Grateful Dead concert. It is a super spiritual experience. this is my personal experience to the best I can attempt and explain. When they play, my soul is overfilled with joy. Literally bursting. Pure concentrated happiness. And the whole place is lifted to a different planet, you don't have a care in the world aside from the beautiful music that's happening. Your mind becomes clear and all the terrible things that have ever happened completely vanish. Yet it's also a time of reflection, tend to think about all the things you want to change and do better at. Don't ask me how you have mental clarity and reflection at the same time, cause I have completely no idea how it happens, just that it does. I'm a witness of it. You'd have to glue your feet to the ground to keep from dancing and it's literally impossible not to smile. one of my favorite things to do is look around and see all the happy dancing people. I feel more at home at a Grateful Dead concert than anywhere else I have ever ever been(including my home). It's truly feels like the heavens are opened, you want to be the very best person you can be. I have not been to a single show of theirs where I haven't cried during a few songs because it's so spiritual and moving (especially the Sunday night show, cried the whole way through Standing on the Moon and a few others). I can't do it any justice. In fact no words can. It's not just me either. all the other dead heads I have conversed with have said similar things. And no I do not partake of any drugs or alcohol at such events. Sure I've been offered all kinds of stuff like weed, acid, cocaine, Molly (pure ecstasy), Nitros balloons. But you just pleasantly refuse them. man, I love that community so much! everyone is there for the same reason, to have a great time and be uplifted. It's just fun to be around so many colorfully dressed people that are all radiating the same joy as you. Quite a few characters around too. After the shows, everyone congregates around Shakedown Street where people are selling all kinds of stuff, trinkets, patches, food, shirts, and other stuff. Just trying to get money to travel to the next show. Yes, there are people that have followed the Grateful Dead their whole lives. and that's another thing, the diversity of the crowd is awesome! old people, middle aged, teens, and small children. Nerds, jocks, geeks, business men, hippies, everyone you can think of. and no one is frowned upon. everyone is embraced by the community with open arms. often times literally. You always get hugs from complete strangers. So much love! It's just super chill. I mean you can go pee by the side of the road and no one cares (yes I have done that many times). Even just listening to their music at home makes me want to be a better person. I've found that the days I listen to the Grateful Dead in the morning end up being so much better than when I don't. 

Changes my whole outlook and mood for the day. I've also found it extremely helpful for doing homework. I can focus so much better while listening to them and not get stressed out. Which is super great for right now since I'm making up the mounds and mounds of homework I've missed this month from adventures. They've been such an influence in my life. You see, the Grateful Dead aren't just a band, they're a way of life, a higher quality of living. In fact, without them, I may not even be alive and certainly not the person I am today. But that's a different story(ask me sometime and maybe I'll tell you it) At this point, I'm sure you're all running to your phones to have me committed to an asylum, thinking "this guy is crazy! there's no way what he's talking about is true!". All I have to say is: you need to experience it for yourself. and maybe it won't have the same affect for you, but what have you got to lose? (but I do have to warn you, you'll probably end up wanting to listen to nothing but the Grateful Dead for a while afterwards, cause no other music reaches the magic affect I've been talking about). 
It's certainly changed my life for the better.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Airborn Adventures

It all started when my neck decided to explode aka cause me a lot of pain. after the fear that I had deadly Meningitis subsided, I had to go get X-rays. though that is not what I'm going to talk about (but if you want to hear that story click HERE ). As I arrived at the hospital to get said X-rays, I saw the Life Flight helicopter taking off and I thought to myself "now that would be an interesting career!" I went home and did a little research a few days later. What did I find out? not a whole lot, but hey, I was interested. All summer I thought about it and how cool it could be to have a job like that. It was around that same time that a guy named Ryan who climbs at the Quarry asked if he could put a flier on the cork board advertising the Helicopter flight school he works for. Now skip forward a little bit. School started and being a senior, I'm required to take Senior Seminar, a class where you try and figure out what colleges and stuff you want to go to. So I looked into Helicopters again. Finally I realized "well shoot! I ought to fly in one and see if I even like it". Skip forward to today. Today I went to the Helicopter school Ryan works at and had a little introductory meeting with the Owner/operator of the school. Found out a lot of information about how it works and all that jazz. But here's where it gets good: part of the introductory meeting was actually getting to go out in a Chopper for 30 min. So we drove over to the Spanish Fork airport and I hopped in with the owner John. My first helicopter flight ever. It was really exciting, got to have a fancy headset and all that cool stuff. Fortunately I didn't even get a little bit sick (lot's of people do in helicopters). But get this: I got to actually fly the Helicopter 80% of the time! Of course I was briefed on how to do it and all that, plus John had the other set of controls if anything happened. It was kind of a weird sensation. The controls are super sensitive and unlike any other kind of control ever. John said I was doing pretty good for a first time, and I essentially flew from Spanish Fork to Payson and back. Then John took over the controls again, killed the engine and demonstrated how to glide a Helicopter safely to the ground. Surprisingly that wasn't the least bit scary. I had a really good time flying It was super super fun and I'm legitimately considering it as a possible career. The down side is: It'll cost me $100,000. But the up side is, I could start tomorrow if I wanted, don't have to be 18. Not sure if I'm going to do it yet, but if I do, I'd start next semester because I won't really have any classes at school and I've decided not to graduate early. So I'd fly a few days a week and take a few fun classes the other days. We'll see what happens

Friday, September 23, 2011

Timp Lodge 2011

Here we go. Timp Lodge 2011 through my eyes.
Truth be told, this was the most boring Timp Lodge I've been to yet. The first day went well. Walked around the woods a little bit with various company. The usual stuff you know. But there just wasn't the energy this year that Timp Lodge usually has. I did a sculpting workshop that didn't really amount to much, and for the seconds workshop, Dallas and I worked on our songs for the talent show that night. Yes, we finally put some official lyrics to the Girlfriend Song. The talent show was great. I really had fun performing our songs. Also, I read a poem that I wrote about the Walden Walkabout. That was good. I very rarely write poetry and that was the first time I ever read one in front of anyone. I'm glad I did it, Cause I almost decided not to. But then I decided there was really no reason not to so I said "what the heck! I'm doin it!". Hopefully it earned me some points with the ladies, but who knows. After the talent show I headed up to the fire where everyone was hanging out, cuddled with some ladies to keep them warm. Then it was off to bed where very little sleeping was done. Colman almost killed a few kids but he didn't so I suppose thats good.
The second day was pretty much as uneventful. Walked in the woods some more, layed out in the field for a few hours with friends. Put some of Holly's lipstick on. Which caused a rumor that we made out and did other kinky stuff. but I can assure you it's just a rumor. I hosted a music party in the guys drom, it was pretty entertaining! Then some crazy drama started to emerge, which found Dallas and I walking through the woods talking in our classy british accents. Then we had to go wash dishes and continued to talk in our accents and be more or less ridiculous. It was not long after that that the traditional Timp Lodge dance began. It was pretty much as wild as ever. Lot's of craziness ensued. Good times. I danced so long and wild that by the end of the dance, my whole body was sore like jumping out of a moving car at 40mph and I felt sick. So it was off to bed again. This time I put in my ipod and just went straight to sleep.
In the morning, someone came to wake us up to start cleaning and get packed. Though I was already awake. I then proceeded to plug my Ipod into my amp and play The Jimi Hendrix version of The Star Spangled Banner. That woke everyone up pretty quickly! It was great! Probably 3/4 of the guys at Walden are pissed at me now, but hey, it was one of the highlights of my trip. This day consisted of just cleaning everything up and going home. the cleaning wasn't too bad, I mean I got to do the vacuum dance with a few of my lovely lady friends. 

So yeah, that pretty much wraps it up. My last Timp Lodge. Over all pretty good times. Never had a TLH but hey whatever. Maybe I'll make a surprise attack visit next year.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

The Golden State Excursions

We left in a whirlpool of Burning Ipods and the deliveries of secret packages at 3:00 a.m. (those are stories for another day). A Sea of impulses. Utter madness and altogether organized chaos. The Plane boarded at 12:30 or thereabouts, I can't quite recall. It was a short burn across the western wastelands. Hurtling at 400Mph. We were greeted by the strangeness of Long Beach airport. A small dinky place with trailers for terminals. Not the smallest airport I've been to, but certainly the most peculiar. why had I come here? what was the purpose of this trip? How had I been conned into this? I thought. I don't even like California. and I certainly don't like sand or heat! But the deed had been done. I was standing on pure concentrated Californian soil. Sweet Jesus! what am I wearing? I'm liable to be shot in clothes like these, this is So, Cal. A man can't wear red or blue around here, not to mention both! After realizing my awful choice in wardrobe, I began to peer around. looks safe for now, but I'll have to be sure to change. Moments later we were greeted by a big red Suburban wheeling into the passenger pickup lane. The bags were stowed and it was off. Next I found ourselves racing down the Californian interstates: Tangled messes of writhing asphalt serpents. Pure madness! Everyone here drives like Need For Speed Underground, and you need 5 GPS devices in your car just to make it to work every day! I was getting antsy, nervous, terrified. Why was I here? I needed to get out! and to make matters worse, I had to help little Zander pee in a bottle during all this. 

After about 2 hours of this wild ride, we arrived just in the nick of time. A few more minutes and I would had 3 heart attacks. Surely the Rolling Stones must have written the song 19th Nervous Breakdown about such an experience.  My nerves were shattered by the time I stumbles through Kathy and Tommy's front door (my aunt and uncle). Here I was. Riverside California. Finally able to relax a little, sit back, eat a hamburger and chat with my siblings and other family members who had ventured out two days before, mostly by car. Night time found me sleeping on a couch swathed in fine Scottish wools.

Day 2
The morning came early for me. I tend to wake up at 6 every morning, thus 5:00 there. After a scrumptious breakfast of pancakes and bacon, the troops were mustered and we set out on another venture down the Interstates. This time was different though. Slightly less terrifying. I was prepared this time, listening to Jim Morrison's sexy voice chanting in my ears. The destination came into sight. Our jaws dropped. We were in for a day of true adventure, adrenaline and excitement: Six Flags Magic Mountain. There were already hundreds of people there, I had to fight for my very life to approach the front gates where they took my ticket and turned me loose. And that's where the true chaos began! People everywhere! All of them there to test their wits and bravery. And Lines! Lines everywhere! so many lines! After a day like this, I think I'll sit at home for a while. where the only lines are the ones I draw myself. Many a ride was tackled by my band of thrill seekers and I. Including a stand up roller coaster! Around 9 p.m. the park came to a close and we were given the boot. It was time for some dinner! So we rolled down the highway to a In and Out Burger joint. And I thought the amusement park was wild! This was a whole other kind of mess! over one hundred people in this little restaurant, fighting over empty tables like ravenous wolves after a fresh kill. Civilization at it's finest. On Fortunately we escaped the place in one piece and it was off for home.

Day 3
Ahhhhh Sunday. A day to relax and collect my thoughts. But that was not entirely the case. I headed off with a few of the devoted for 9 O'clock church. and received a brief tour of the town on the way back. This place seems decent, I thought to myself. Wait a minute, Wait a minute! listen to yourself! what are you saying? This is California, this is the enemy! Everyone then met up and we booked it off to L.A. It was the Getty Museum of Art for us today. What a magnificent building! a true masterpiece among architecture. The house of many a valuable painting. I spent the afternoon amongst fine company such as: Rembrandt, Cezanne, Van Dyck, Monet, Pissarro, Van Gogh and a few others. Now this was my kind of place. a shelter from the storm. But it did not last nearly long enough. The children were restless. So we Headed on over to Venice beach. The hub of California crazies. The very stomping grounds of Jim Morrison. A whole carnival of free thinkers and drugged out weirdos. My relatives seemed pretty down on it, but I couldn't see any of the negativity. How could one not enjoy the drum circles on the beach, the man rollerblading around with his electric guitar and amp strapped to him, the fire dancers, the medicinal Marijuana shops on every block, and the wild street performers? Surely this must be heaven, or some sort of strange delusion! I like it! It was like a Grateful Dead concert without the Grateful Dead. In other words, Home. Just as I was beginning to settle in, it was time to go again. on the journey home I pondered. long and hard. Yeah, I could live here.

Day 4
At last it was the day I had been dreading. Beach day. Laguna beach was the destination of choice. It was cold and overcast when we arrived. Which meant no swimming for me. Why would I risk being dismembered by a shark in water as cold as this! I needed exploration! So I hit the shops. This was a town of fine art. Where there are more galleries than actual houses. or almost. I strolled into the Fingerhut gallery. What a pleasant surprise I found there. A few original Rembrandt's and a whole slew of Original Dr. Seuss painting and sculptures. all priced no less than $3,000. Who would pay such a price! outrageous! But wait a minute. This is Laguna beach, not some sick dump of a town. This place is loaded. Everyone filthy rich! Where Cadillac Escalades are shunned. Not good enough. and Every 10th person drives a Ferrari. I stumbled across a few original Salvador Dali sketches. and strolled around a few more galleries but only one really caught my eye. There was a lovely lady working there. The most attractive I'd seen the whole trip. Fortunately the art there was amazing so I had another excuse for sticking around a while. Super vibrant and vivid paintings with paint an inch thick in some places. Truly an Inspiring collection of works. A few galleries later, I hit the beach again and we soon packed up and rushed off to dinner. Some strange Chinese place named Pei Wei. With magical soda machines of which I had never previously seen the likes of. Wait a minute! no real chinese place would have fancy machines such as these! The chinese are all about tradition. hmmm, but then again, I bet these new fangled machines were made in China. I suppose that's alright.

Day 5
We had come to the last leg of our journey. This was the end. The return journey home was to be simple and smooth. But it began with a quick rush to the bathroom and an epidemic of vomiting. Sage was sick. Possibly dehydration? It did not look good. I had been in her situation before, having to fly on a sick stomach is complete hell. She stuck it out pretty well til we made it to the airport. There we checked our bags and all that other boring airport stuff. Cept when it came to security I slipped right through without ever showing them I.D. Didn't even look twice. Just turned their heads and let me walk right on to the plane. The goons didn't even check me! what now? maybe I'm supposed to blow up the plane! Naw. That would be too much work. I'll just read my book. Dear old Sage was transferred up to the front row seats to help with her illness. As we took off I reflected on the wild trip while I watched the Golden state disappear over the horizon in the rear view mirror (or rather I would have if planes had rear view mirrors). This place wasn't so bad after all. I found myself giving in. Succumbing to the California dream. And considering living in Venice beach. But only for a short while. Few months. No more no less. But we were pointed in a new direction now. Hurtling off to fulfill our lives, our destinies. Back to reality.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

A Change of Plans

Lately I'm come to the realization: You gotta do what you gotta do. Now allow me to elaborate. you can't live life worrying about what other people think. Which I typically feel like I do a pretty good job of. But you just have to do what you want, follow your dreams and goals. So by Golly I'm gonna do it. Even more lately (or I guess recently) I've been applying it to my life. To be honest, it's way better to live this way, much more fun. Easier to not worry about girls and drama and school and all that other stuff. Except that's also a problem cause I kind of really need to worry about college. Oh well. we'll see what happens.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Throwing in the Towel

I finally lost. Gave up. finished with love. I can't take it any more. It's made a mess of my mind and left me for dead. I came to the realization this summer that I could have a girlfriend if I wanted. But to quote one of my favorite lyrics: "If I can't have the girl I love, I don't want none at all". Which leads to the next issue. I'm not even sure if I'm still in love at this point. I want to be! I mean truth be told I am, but it feels different now. In fact, some days I'm not in love, but others I am so hopelessly it makes me sick. Maybe I'm just bipolar...ought to walk out in a field and shoot myself in the stomach then, like Van Gogh. Actually, that's too boring, I'd rather drive off a cliff or something (Don't worry though, I'm not planning on doing that any time really soon).  Anyways, I may say I'm done with love, but let's be honest, It always manages to reel me back in...sooner than I expect too. Probably by next week some new girl will walk into my heart or the same old one (cause she tends to do that a lot). I think my biggest problem is I'm generally pretty awful at noticing social cues. I mean dead awful! you pretty much have to just straight out tell me things otherwise I begin to over think. man I really wish I could just stop thinking for a while. I feel like I have nothing to say anymore. like my well of wit has begun to dry up. I need a mental vacation or two. As Dallas would say "when you're mind is all melancholy, listen to some Simon and Garfunkel" and I think I shall.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

One Heck of an Adventure

I came home from School Friday, did some stuff that I don't remember. Anyways, a few hours after being home I discovered my father was going with his brothers to Spokane, Washington in order to help my uncle and his family move to Provo. Some of the brothers had gone up the day before and brought a load of stuff down...but apparently they had more stuff than anyone expected, so it was decided to make another last minute trip back up there. I was told all that about three hours before we were to leave, and I decided heck yeah I want to go! I'd gone a few years earlier to visit my cousins up there, so I was well aware of the awful drive. But being the compulsive person that I am from time to time I said "well I've got nothing better to do, this will be an adventure!"

My Uncle Joseph, my Father, my uncle Justin and his daughter Mckenzie (the ones that were moving) and I all met up about 6:30. We hopped in the truck that had been borrowed from some of our other relatives and drove off. the truck was pulling a large stock trailer (for transporting animals). We hurtled across the wastelands of Idaho and on into Montana, telling stories and trying to sleep. The plan was to make it to Spokane by 7:00 a.m.  Somewhere in Montana at 2 a.m. we pulled over, my dad and I decided to give sleeping in the trailer a try. So we crawled up into the top part where there was a mattress. It was pretty bloody cold outside but not too bad in the trailer. It took about 5 seconds of riding in the trailer to realize "this thing doesn't have any bloody shocks!" every little bump would shake and rattle the trailer. It was quite apparent that we would get no sleep whatsoever in there. It felt like being in a bomb shelter during world war 2. Loud noises, the whole thing shaking, bouncing and rattling, sounded like machine guns being fired and all kinds of craziness. We soon transferred back to the truck. Joseph who had been driving climbed in the trailer to sleep and we continued on. Around 6 a.m. we pulled over in Couer D'Alene Idaho to refuel. we found Joseph wrapped up in a rug in the back of the trailer...pretty funny.
finally we rolled into their driveway exactly on time. The kids were just waking up. I walked in and said happy birthday to my cousin Brady (it was his birthday). He was pretty surprised, didn't know I was coming. I said "yeah I came just to wish you happy birthday". Justin and my dad went to sleep for an hour, I just messed around with the kids. Then we started packing up the trailer with the help of some people from their ward. Bout eleven o' clock we were ready to hit the road. but one of the cars wouldn't start. So Justin pulled the other car around to jump it...some how the cat that was in a cage in the back seat, managed to get out and was run over.  It was really really gross watching it flop around as it bled to death, but there was nothing we could do. Everyone was really sad. Awful way to start a trip. But we had to carry on. So the three vehicles rolled out. I was with Kenzie, her friend Joy and little Ella in the Jetta. not 30 min. down the freeway, one of the trailers started fish tailing. It was super super scary to watch...think I had a heart attack or five. It wasn't the stock trailer, but another one. So we drove right back to the house, unloaded that trailer and shoved as much of it as we could in the stock trailer. then we left the messed up trailer, surprised that it hadn't rolled the car, and started the trip all over. At one point we stopped to get gas and a few glass bottles rolled out of a car and broke. Just another great thing to add to the list. at a different gas station later down the road, Kenzie scraped the front of the car on a concrete post. Complete accident, but super fortunate that it didn't really do anything cept mess up the paint.

We ate dinner in Dillon Montana at roughly 7:00 p.m. and that was the halfway mark for out trip...6 hours left to go. Somewhere around Malad Idaho at 1 a.m. the truck decided to die. Fortunately we got it started again and didn't have any problems. At last we reached Orem at 3:00 a.m. Drove to a storage unit and unloaded the trailer while we were all slap happy. Then we had to drive over to their house in Provo to unload a few more things. My Uncle Tim and Jess were taking the trailer as soon as we were done with it back to Lava, Idaho to our relatives. So at 6:15 a.m. I walked into my house and went to bed. 36 hours and 1,534 miles later I was home. Dead exhausted. I'd only slept a total collective of 4 hours during that 36. So today I slept til noon 30 then got up and went to my uncle's church. Brady was ordained at teacher. Now I'm just writing, wondering why on earth I'm not asleep seeing as I've only slept 10 hours in the last 72. Quite a crazy trip!

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Old Abe

I've been thinking about writing this one for a while. And I'm in quite a writing mood at the moment so I'll tell you this tale.

Once upon a time, this very lovely lady (and when I say very lovely, I mean the loveliest of the lovely ladies) came up to me and said something like "here I got this for you" in my hand she placed a penny. Just a regular old penny, nothing special about it or anything."what's this for?" I asked. She probably just grinned at me then said "to put in your left shoe". So a little confused, I did as she told me. She never said anything about it after that. I was terribly puzzled, but I decided that I would wear it in my left shoe every day. after a few days the penny began to grow on me. I came to love it (for after all, it was a gift from the loveliest of the lovely ladies).  Now let us skip forward 8 months. Today it just so happens to be my most valued possession, no joke. To me this penny is worth more than any riches I can or could obtain. "But it's only worth one cent" you might say. Well friends it is worth everything to me. In fact, it's in my shoe at this very moment. The day I lose this penny is the day part of me dies. And I pray that day never comes. For I plan to wear it in my left shoe til the day I die. Of course I also request to be buried with it. Now who is this lady? well I shan't tell you. Cause it's way more interesting if you don't know. If you try to guess, all i'll tell you is: she is a mighty fine woman.
Strange gifts from mysterious women...quite intriguing isn't it?

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Origins: Dressing Up

"Why are you dressed up" and "what's with that weirdo" are two phrases mine ears have come to hear frequently. So, I figured I may as well talk about them....rather than doing the homework I ought to right now. As a young child, I used to always put on makeup and dress up with my cousins when we were bored at grandma's house. But that really has nothing to do with my wardrobe or state of mind these days. It truly started out in 7th grade at Centennial. I have never really believed in the fashion industry at all. I think it's stupid that people try and be in style, specially since they spend tons of money doing it. It just seems really self conscious and insecure (though maybe I'm wrong). Anyways, I saw a lot of richy rich kids at centennial wearing $100 designer jeans and ridiculous stuff like that. I also witnessed quite a few less fortunate kids being made fun of for what they wore or what they didn't. So I decided it would be really really entertaining to dress up crazy to make fun of people that care so much about fashion. To say Screw you to the whole fashion and social clique thing. Turns out I was right. The problem was back then I didn't have as much freedom in what I could wear (nor was I as daring then). However, I quickly became famous for my orange pants (a different pair than I have now) as well as some old teal ones I had. I also would dress up sometimes so that I would be wearing no two colors alike. For example: green shirt, blue pants, one white sock, one black, one purple shoe and one orange. People  would give me the strangest of looks and tell me that my shoes weren't matching. and I'd reply "What! Really? oh crap! sorry, I'm colorblind." Just like freak out and make a big scene. Good times, Good times. I'd wear leather jackets and crocks sometimes, just stuff like that. 

Skip forward to my Walden years. At walden, I quickly came to realize I could wear whatever the heck I wanted when I wanted and the administration wouldn't care. That's when It really began. It's so funny to me that people still ask me "why are you dressed up" guy, you should know by now: I just feel like it. Which is true too. I wake up in the morning, walk over to my arsenal of clothes and say "I want to wear that, and that, and that" so I do it. Last year, I went to D.I. to get some more whacky clothes for my wardrobe. That's when I found the Pink Turtleneck sweater I have. I immediately purchased it for the sake of making fun of guys that wear those ugly sweater vests and just sweaters in general. Little did I know at the time it was actually a women's sweater, but that sure doesn't bother me!

Now it's time for some of my favorite costume highlights: 
  • First day of school last year, I wore the white tux. (the main picture on my blog is actually from that day)
  • Just after I  shaved my head, my Grandparents came home from their mission and we went to meet them at the airport, so I wore the pink sweater, my round glasses, and the long blond curly wig. Airport security was giving me all kinds of looks. Fortunately that was a sunday, so I wore it to church right after....they had no idea what to think!
  • Then of course there are the few dresses I've worn to school, often with that same wig.
  • Let's not forget that huge long dress coat thing I have, the one that goes to my shins and weighs 10,000 pounds.
  • Of course there was that time when I walked across all of provo in my newly purchased Pink Pants and long fluffy shirt. got some really great looks with that one.
  • And my most recent: Wearing my Kilt yesterday (had to top last years first day of school)
And you all thought I just dressed up for fun. Nope, though it's part of it. I do it to: make fun of fashion, satisfy my crazy impulses, sometimes throw people out of their comfort zone, challenge gender stereotypes, be a bit of an attention whore, and cause it entertains me.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Walden Walkabout 2011

Warning: the following story is 100% true with no exaggeration. I am writing it for historical purposes...and so that I hopefully won't have to tell it fifty times. Also no Pity parties please.

For those of you that don't know what the walkabout is, It's a back packing trip Walden does every year for the first week of school. This year it was arranged a little differently than past. anyways, I signed up for the boys long hike. The trip began this Tuesday 8/23/2011 where we all met up at the school and then headed off for Salt Lake. Our hike began at Brighton ski resort and would end at Aspen Grove, following the Great Western Trail. So in other words we were hiking from Salt Lake to Provo, an estimated 25 miles. Our group leaders were: Josh Graham, the new teacher Skyler, and previous walden student Alex Washington. Our group consisted of twenty people. We hit the trail at about 10:30 a.m. and passed a big moose that was laying forty feet from the trail. We hiked up and over the mountain to the back side, went down it, and right up another mountain, down that, then up another. It was super strenuous and really hot too. At about that time, (around 4:00 p.m.) most of us had run out of water. But Josh said there was supposed to be a lake within the next mile. So after hiking roughly three miles we still hadn't found the lake and it was looking kind of grim. We made it to Pole Point, a junction of roads and trails, there the sign said 2.5 miles to Forest lake. By then, I'm pretty sure everyone was completely out of water. But we had no other option, so we pressed on. Up to that point, I had been feeling great all day. Not even tired. 

I made it to the turn off to head down by the lake, and ran into Karl there. He and I hiked down together and I started feeling really ill. So we stopped for a little while and then I started vomiting. The Problem was I really had nothing in me left to puke up. It was really terrible. Karl stayed by my side for a while, and said a prayer. After probably twenty minutes of being stopped, Karl grabbed my pack, threw it over his shoulder and headed down the trail to the lake. Not long after, I got up and began to continue down. On the way, I met another saint, one by the name of Ethan Dutcher. He was running up the trail carrying water for those that were still behind. He gave me a bottle and ran on past. Fortunately I was really close to the lake and didn't have to hike too far. When I got there, Josh Graham gave me some more water and started quizzing me on how I was doing. I sat down on a stump and sipped water. Problem was all the water that went down came right back up. I was dehydrated and also probably suffering from heat exhaustion. The thing about me when I get sick, Is I keep cracking jokes. In fact, my sense of humor probably even gets better, but who knows. So I sat around sipping water, laughing, and puking for an  hour or so. By then it had gotten dark and I had to try and hike to the other side of the lake where our camp was set up. Ethan Grabbed my pack and walked with me. Then Josh Cockrell came down, stole the pack from Ethan and told him to go keep working on dinner. 

At camp, Josh Graham got all my sleeping stuff set up. So I went and layed down. He, Skyler and Alex, were having a conversation about what to do, talking about me. It was really weird, cause it felt like they were talking about me as if I were dead. The plan was: Skyler would sleep near me and I was to holler if I started getting any worse. If so, they would have life flighted me out of there. I was completely exhausted, but not sleepy. So I just lay there trying to keep some liquid down with very little luck. Then Ethan and Jairen came over, they layed out their sleeping bags next to me and said "we'll help watch over him". It was a really touching moment. I would have cried...but I didn't have enough liquid in me to even shed a tear.  The two of them layed there and told me jokes while everyone else was partying around the camp fire. Then at roughly midnight, we heard a strange rustling in the bushes. All of us immediately thought Bear! Then the noise went away. Though an hour later it returned, and much closer. I sat up and a few people turned their flashlights on to discover it was a dear in the middle of our camp, eating through our trash. We tried to scare it away, but It wasn't ever frightened. Finally someone chased it off. then It returned a few minutes later and was eating Doritos. So they tried scaring it off again. It was great, That deer made me smile.

The night was pretty awful. I spent the whole time puking. (over the whole trip, I puked at least 40 times) I also started shaking really badly, but not because it was cold. Then I had the most awful cramps. I remember saying something to Ethan and Jairen like "If this is what being pregnant is like, I'm sure glad I'm a man". At most I slept a collective amount of 2 hours throughout the night. The only thing that sounded even remotely good was blue Gatorade and coke. But come morning I was feeling a little better. Then we had to decide what to do, cause it was pretty apparent there was no way I was hiking any further, also Karl threw up during the night and was feeling pretty awful. Josh Lebaron was in a similar situation as well. So Josh Graham took a cell phone and ran back up the trail a ways and contacted Diana. Who in turn called my parents to come rescue us seeing as they would probably have the most knowledge of the area. By then I had stopped puking, but I couldn't get up, so I just lay in my sleeping bag talking with all the gang that came over to check up on me. "What a way to start my senior year huh? Best first day of school ever!" I said. At about 12:30 we figured out that we would have to hike the 2.5 miles back to Pole Line to be picked up. So I got out of bed and started packing up what I could. Then I had to go over and take a pee. And what a glorious pee it was, cause it meant that I was obviously able to keep some liquids down. Ethan Grabbed my pack, strapped it onto his chest, with his pack on his back, and headed up the hill. Skyler, Jairen, Colman and I made our way up the treacherous hill at a super slow pace with tons of rests. I felt like I was going to die. and wanted to vomit the whole time but couldn't. Ethan ran down past us back to the lake with a filter and probably 15 water bottles to refill for everyone.

Back at the main trail, we paused there with everyone else for quite some time figuring out who else was going to go home and such. Finally we got on the trail again. Colman, Karl, Cael, Josh L, myself, and Alex were the leaving party. Alex took my pack with specific instructions to take great care of me. The whole way back I wanted to puke. Eventually I did. We were taking a break at one point when suddenly I heard a horn honk three times. I instantly recognized it to be our Suburban. That sure helped to lift my hopes. Prior to that I was on the verge of just taking a step to the left and tumbling down the mountain to my death....that sounded like a really great thing to do at the time. 

Finally we made it to the car.  I just walked over, hugged my mom, then tried to puke again. That was by far the hardest 2.5 miles I have ever hiked in my life. How I made it, I don't know. Let's just say there was a lot of divine intervention going on. My dad told us "one of the new girls in the other groups had a seizure and she was going to have to be rescued". My heart sank when I heard that news. I feel really bad for her. Obviously My experience pales in comparison to hers. I just hope and pray that she'll be okay. Then All of us jumped in the car and raced off towards Midway in order to get drinks. After I had some of that blue Gatorade and coke, I started to feel a bit better.

When I got home, I walked right through the door, to my room, turned on some Grateful Dead (it helps me when I'm sick) and fell asleep. woke up roughly two hours later, took a shower and discovered I had some pretty lovely sun burns. Then I had my father get me some pepperoni Pizza, cause it was the only thing that sounded edible to me. I had to slices of that, and went straight back to bed. Woke up at 9:00 a.m. this morning, wasn't hungry. talked to my siblings, then went back to bed. I had my mom get me a bean burrito for lunch since that sounded tasty. 

Now here I am sitting here typing this novel. Sun Burned, Tired, Bruised, Blistered, and too weak to even unscrew the lid of my coke bottle. But hey, I'm alive! I just want to say thank you to all of the great people In my group. Without you guys, I believe that there is a very high likelihood I would not still be here. In the end, I really wish I would have been able to finish the hike (I hate not finishing things). Though I don't regret what happened. It has truly been an amazing spiritual experience.

Man, I could use a lot of sleep and a great big hug right now.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Literary Ventures

After finishing my summer reading books a few weeks ago, I realized I'm in a reading mood. The problem was I didn't have any new good books to read. so a day or two ago the thought randomly popped into my head "Jane Austen". I was like "what? that's strange. but heck, why not?". So yesterday I headed to Borders to find a few books at their crazy sale. After walking around for roughly an hour, the only thing I had found was one Jane Austen book: Persuasion. I'm convinced it was the very last Jane Austen book in the whole building. To get it, I had to run, jump, and fend off a few crazy old ladies. But at last the book was mine! Yet I was not satisfied. Soooo I drove to Barnes and Noble. There I found precisely what I wanted. So here is what I got: Sense and Sensibility-Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice-Jane Austen, Wuthering Heights-Emily Bronte, and The Picture of Dorian Grey-Oscar Wilde. I had all the books collected when sage said "oh look you should buy these versions they are way more cool". I thought about it, (they had all the exact books I had in my hands) checked the price tag $20 a piece. I told myself "wow that's crazy! I'm getting all of these books already for the price of one of those!" So there I was standing in the line to purchase my books when I realized one of the covers was a little torn. so I ran back to grab a different one and returned to the line with the fancy versions of all the books. And guess what. I bought them....spent a total of $101. yeah. Quite a gamble seeing as I haven't even read any of them. But these books were hardcover, with cool designs on them, and they are also first edition prints (they haven't been revised 10,000 times). But they add to the feel so much more. Make the situation so much more romantic/epic reading the stories out of a cool looking book. Now back to the Jane Austen part. Secretly I love romantic literature and movies....but don't tell anyone! not to mention I have a growing fascination/obsession with Victorian Era England. I truly was born in the wrong time. Should have been the child of some duke or something. I would be very respectable, romantic, and of course I'd have a great excuse for wearing all the super super sweet clothing they had back then. That would have been so great. I suppose I'll just have to make do in this modern time. Basically, I'm really excited about reading all these books because of all the previously mentioned stuff (mainly the romantic bit, plus I love the way they talk) and of course I highly enjoy reading classical literature. looks like I've got my reading cut out for me for a while.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Peculiar Conversations

Let me tell you a tale. A truthful one mind you. It goes like this: 
once upon a time I became engaged (at least according to Facebook). To a fine young woman. one whom I have sadly not seen since 6th grade. So obviously I'm just as single as ever. Anyways, She was a good friend of mine growing up all throughout elementary. Alright alright, so "good friend" is partially a cover up for a romantic interest, Though we also were good friends.  But that is not the point either, so continuing on. I chatted with her the other night via the interwebs. We planned out our wedding, colors, date, honeymoon, all that fun stuff. It was actually a really entertaining conversation  and kind of cute. But during it, all of a sudden it hit me "wait a minute! I could be doing this for reals in the next few years!" It was super super strange. Then I thought about it some more. "how strange would it be if I actually did get married to her". That would be ridiculously crazy and oh so hilarious. But at this point, I highly doubt that. I mean we haven't even seen each other in like seven years. guess we'll just have to wait and see. So there you have it, a random little secret story from my life.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

I Don't Care too Much for Money

I've been thinking about this for a few years. figured it's finally time to write it down. Money seems to rule the world. Greed. I've known many a person captivated by money. They spend all their time slaving away to make as much money as possible. Material possessions are what they're seeking. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. Personally I don't care at all for money. Yet at the same time, It's convenient and nice to have. I must say I'm certainly glad to have a job and all that, but there are more important things. More powerful than CEO's, Professors, Politicians, money and everything else: Love. The most valuable possession we could ever have! and I'm not just talking about love for a partner. Love for your family, Friends, Neighbors. Love for that random stranger standing on the corner that waves at you as you drive passed. Love for the smiling faces you encounter throughout life. There is no sum of money worth that. makes me think of this song: Often times it seems like we get so wrapped up in the pursuit of wealth and other things that we take  love for granted. If any one of you came to me and said "you have two options, I'll give you a million dollars, or instead you can see me smile once every day for the rest of your life" I can honestly say that I'd refuse the money. Maybe I'm just crazy, but that's what I believe. Also I just realized that I'm cutting up an old credit card while I'm writing this. haha, good stuff. I didn't even notice I was doing that. quite appropriate for the topic though. So there you have it, that's my money rant. maybe I should be a motivational speaker or something.