Thursday, July 28, 2011

Important meetings

Yesterday I went and met with a counselor at Walden (Amy) to see what classes and such I need to take this year. so we sat down and looked over all my grades and those other boring papers that happen to be important. Turns out I only have to take Senior Seminar, Financial Lit, one term of U.S. Gov, one term of world civ, one term of majors, and one term of computer tech (which I'll hopefully do as a packet). Other than that, I just need to turn in a few papers for p.e. and service credit. So pretty much after this semester, I'm done. But it makes me sad. I don't want to be done. We talked about my future, what I want to do and where I want to go to college all that. But the thing is I have no idea. I don't know what I want to do for the rest of my life! That's a pretty heavy thing to decide at 17 years old. Feel like I'm sealing my fate. She told me my grades are excellent and that I'm in great shape. Can pretty much go wherever I want, but I don't know that either. She told me "you could do anything and be good at it, you have a diverse set of skills and will succeed" (sounds like a fortune cookie) I suppose I should be flattered, but I don't really care. Also she reccommended taking AP Calc. and Physics, to stay fresh and ready for college. Personally I hate science. But I may stick around and take Calculus, and maybe maybe I'll do physics. If I did that, I could do concurrent enrollment at UVU or something if it so pleased me. I'm just not sure yet cause I really don't want to leave. Truth be told, the whole meeting depressed the hell out of me. Looks like this is the spot I'm in:

Friday, July 22, 2011

From Please Please Me to Let It Be

Today I decided to listen to the entirety of the Beatles albums. starting at the beginning. I'd nearly forgotten how much I love them. When I was but a wee child I used to listen to the Beatles White album every night in bed. I did that for probably about 2-3 years. when I turned 12, I saved up $300 and bought the complete box set of their studio albums. One of the best things I ever did in my life. There isn't an album I dislike. Even the early stuff I love. I was surprised while listening to them today that I could still sing along word for word 90% of the songs. When I was like 13 though I would have been able to tell you every song on every album in the order they were listed. Lets just say I was a 14 year old girl from the 60's. A real warehouse of information on the Beatles. It shocks me how much I relate to their music though. The Help album specifically is pretty much the entire story of my love life, good and bad. Funny stuff. hmmm. Maybe I'll listen to the entirety of Tom Waits or Jethro tull albums next...It'll be training for when I listen to my complete Grateful Dead collection ( 5 straight days and 7 hours of music at this point)

Thursday, July 21, 2011


don't ever let anyone tell you you aren't good enough. It's a complete lie! you can do anything you set your mind to! Sure sometimes it will be hard and you may not always see the light, But press on! Do what you love! don't do things just to fit in, Stand out, be yourself! who cares if it's not cool to tap dance, or program computer software or write poetry. It doesn't matter what others think. Do what you love! if you want to be a writer be one. Who cares if you never make any money doing it. As long as you're happy, enjoying life.  Money doesn't matter! It's just a piece of paper with some old guys face on it. All the time I see men in business suits driving to work to sit in a cubicle. Day after day, same routine schedule, never smiling. And I think "wow, They're missing it!" Success isn't measured by how many digits there are after that dollar sign. It's measured by how filled your soul is. How excited you are to wake up in the morning and start the new day. I witnessed an amazing example of this recently. Did any of you that watch the womens world cup soccer game notice that in the break before over time, The Japanese team huddled together and they were smiling! Excited to be there, to represent their country doing something they loved. Even though they had been down most of the game they carried on. didn't let it get them down. Those smiles are what won them the game. Even if they would have lost, they still would have won because they were out there to have fun! "Don't take things too seriously. Live Life and Laugh!" that's my motto. You can borrow it if you'd like. So Find something you love doing and do it! Follow your dreams!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The Life I live

I'm in a writing mood again. So I figured I'd give you a glimpse into my everyday summer life. Girl troubles have vanished. well most of them. For once in a long long time I can honestly say I'm not even a little bit in love with anyone. Well not in a romantic way. Anyways I'll now tell you about the last few days since they are a pretty good summary of the summer. The last three mornings I've woken up and had pie for breakfast (which usually doesn't happen sadly) then most of the time I start on painting. Thats what I do for the vast majority of the day now except when I occasionally go golfing. Other than painting I go to work or church or watch a movie. Yep. this is the life I live. It's a pretty good one. Never have any idea what day it is, or the time, I just do my thing. I've begun to realize the slow descent into madness that many artists have. Never seeing friends hardly, just painting all day I can't really explain it but it is maddening. Yesterday My Grandmother came over while I was finishing up a piece. She was freaking out about how creative and patient I am blah blah blah, she seemed impressed with the painting. Which surprises me, cause It's very modern and she seems to like more classical art or at least nature scenes rather than a bunch of shapes. She was going on about how I need a studio and to put stuff in galleries. Oh man how I wish I had a studio! I'd invite people over to come paint with me and chill. No little children I'd have to worry about or anything. Too bad I don't have any $$ to rent one or something. But I'll have to figure out something soon cause my room is literally filling up with canvases. Slowly going to be suffocated! Help me!!

Saturday, July 16, 2011

An Old Man Gets A Little Older

yesterday was me 17th birthday. I'm old and decrepit. The day started out waking up early and listening to Eric Clapton songs about cocaine. just cause why not, and its a good song. then I ate some cinnamon pull apart things for breakfast. Off to Golf lessons at 9. returned home and that's where my memory went blank. not really sure what I did for the next two or three hours. But it must have been awesome cause my clothes disappeared. (but in truth, I just listened to music and stayed clothed). Then My father and I headed back to the golf course to play 9 holes. That was my first game. Let's just say I thought we were playing pinball. I pretty much managed to hit every bloody tree on the course. guess you'll have to start calling me tree slayer. But it was fun nonetheless. Got a lot of great looks...In my Orange pants and Jamaican cap. though I wasn't as classy as the polygamist father. with his huge beard and some weird hat. After that adventure was completed we set out to gather a few necessities for light painting that night. namely steel wool. Back home for Pizza, and Pie for dessert. The Grandparents all came over for pie, we did presents and all that jazz. My grandparents gave me a bagpipe chanter, so that ought to be fun! I'm turning more into a Scotsman everyday. Golfing, Kilt obsessing and soon bag piping. After that was done I set out gathering my light  painting gear for the nights festivities. Met up with some fine people at Walden. Good 'Ol Genevieve even made a cake for me! Oh it was mighty tasty! then the Squatch appeared so we headed up the canyon to party. Busted out the camera and lights. Good times Unfortunately Shannen and Jairen couldn't join us, but at least Taylor, Dallas and Genny could. I had a great time. Think they did too. I wanted to take more people, but with light painting it isn't very fun when tons of people are just kicking around. Get's boring cause you have to sit and wait your turn. But hey, If you want to go with me sometime, let me know we'll plan something. From there I headed for bed at 1:30.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Round 2 of my Theatering Career

I was summoned to attend a Meeting yesterday about the Shakespeare Competition. Our school is going to enter it this year. The meeting was just a general thing about the competition and looking over a few possible scenes we could do. Gwen was talking to Karl asking him if he wanted to do a part where he was hopelessly in love with a girl. I was Like "Pick me! I'll do it!" She was like "Actually I think you could do it pretty good". So I got a script to read over. The scene is from As You Like It. This guy Silvius is madly in love with Phebe. All he cares about is her, but she Doesn't like him. I figured it sounds like the story of my life! I think it's bloody Hilarious! Won't even have to act :)  I hope to do it as a trio with T(Kim) as Phebe, and someone else as Rosalind. I'm super super excited about it. Absolutely love the scene! I also will probably do a Monologue. Decided I wanted to do a really crazy, energetic one where the character is crazy with rage. so I've been looking around and found a great one from one of my favorite Shakespeare plays: Titus Andronicus. I was reading it and freaking out, shaking with excitement. I was like "looks like this is probably the one!"  so I've read over each of those a few times today, and now I can hardly type I'm so excited, been shaking, spazzing out, occasionally dancing around my room basically having a seizure. This has been going on for about three hours now. It's completely terrifying really.

Monday, July 11, 2011

The name's Bosch, Hieronymous Bosch

What would it be like to be one of the Rockstars of art? I think it'd be pretty fun. I have to say I highly admire Andy Warhol, Jackson Pollock, Vincent Van Gogh, Hieronymous Bosch and quite a few others. Eccentrics of art! maniacs all doing their own thing. Warhol would throw the craziest parties ever with all kinds of loons! Pollock would dance around throwing paint everywhere! Bosch would paint crazy ahead of his time dark paintings with strange creatures eating people, and Freakin Van Gogh cut off his bloody ear and sent it to a Prostitute he was in love with! now that's crazy! the life of painting would be nice, you wouldn't have to sit in a desk ever. just go paint something when you feel like it then sell if for a few grand. and then I could further collect outfits for my whacked out wardrobe. no one would mind me wearing them, not that they necessarily do now. I just need to figure out how to do it! whether you like his work or not, Jackson Pollock was a genius! splattering paint around on a canvas and selling it to art snobs all over the world for ridiculous prices. In fact the most expensive piece of artwork that's been sold thus far is one of his pieces for $138,000,000. that was long after his death though andcertainly there are more expensive paintings, like the Mona Lisa, they just haven't been sold.

Thinking back, It's really strange that I randomly just started painting this year. I mean I've never really done any before. Far as I can remember, I just picked up a brush and paint one day and decided to paint. It's been really fun thus far. I enjoy it. Problem is canvasses are starting to take over my room! I need to figure out how to start selling them. I mean Jean-Michel Basquiat  was a famous painter at like 19. He became best friends with Warhol, and even dated Madonna. I think I'm going to start oil painting today, that should be interesting! I finally did get around to putting up some  pictures of my more recent art projects on my art blog.  if you're interested. some day I hope to be a well known eccentric artist.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

The Captain Returns

well I just got back from a week trip to Montana. I'm a real man now. But actually I probably was before and nothing about me has really changed. Cept I may be a little more tan and the hair on the back of my neck is starting to curl, but that's what it does when it gets a little long.  I've already written all about the trip. just not on here, but I don't really feel like writing about it. maybe someday I will though. It's probably some of my best writing yet. who knows.

here is an excerpt from it though:

"We followed our maps straight into Yellowstone Park. The place was crowded with tourists, stopping to gawk at animals and faithful old Geezers. thousands of them! photographing anything that moved. All trying to get close and get the perfect shot. It appears that they have forgotten this is not a zoo!  These animals are wild! They'll tear you limb from limb. And in fact, we passed right by a crowed of learn-ed doctors taking care of a man who moments before had been mauled to death by a mother grizzly. But this is not what we had come here for. We were on a mission. A mission that would make us rich."

Saturday, July 2, 2011


I've been in a writing mood lately. Once when I was younger I wanted to be an author. But I think that ship has sailed. Recently I have come to the realization that I enjoy writing, it's become a release. A way for my soul to empty or at least ignore it's demons. Painting has the same affect. Been thinking about my future a little bit. What do I want to do for a career? Painter? Musician? Actor? Helicopter pilot? psychiatrist? Kilt model? maybe even a writer. the question is how do I decide?
Looking back, It's been a strange year. sometimes you become everything you used to be against. 2-4 years ago if you would have told me I was going to be in a school play, or taking a girl to Prom, or creating art, Cutting all my hair off, or even Golfing, there is no way I'd believe you. Heck if you told me that at the beginning of last school year I probably wouldn't even have believed you. when I was in junior high, I thought people who dressed up fancy and went to dances, or played golf or whatever else were stupid. Now I suppose I'm one of them. I don't think it's a bad thing though. But also some things never change.

The world needs more Gentlemen. Where have they all gone? nowadays women seem to think all men are perverted bastards. which may be true, I don't know. It's terrible. I hate to hear that. makes me wish I were a woman sometimes. certainly there have always been perverts and certainly there have always been gentlemen but it seems that the race of gentlemen is receeding. I certainly hope that I'm amongst the gentlemen. But I suppose only the ladies can be the judge of that. If not, I'm sure as hell going to change that.

Love life has disappeared. I don't even know what love is anymore. But I need to. I need to fall hopelessly in love with a nice girl. One that's hopelessly in love with me. But what if I never do? What if I never love again? where will that lead me? what will become of my life? will I simply turn into that crazy old guy down the street that everyone thinks is a witch? Die lonely?

When do Blogs come to an end? how do they finish? How do I bring about the death of this one? I don't want to. If it dies, then surely a part of me dies. All my written emotions and histories. Does anyone even read it anymore? Maybe I'll write on it my whole life. It will become my biography. When I die, that's when it will come to an end. so many questions.

I'm going to take a break now. go on some adventures. Maybe never to return. Who knows?

some Summertime Hooliganry

Yesterday marked the first day of July as well as the first time I hung out with Dallas and Jairen this summer. Good times. We traipsed all around Downtown Provo. Jairen got a haircut from Andrew, we ate a two foot long sandwich, walked up and down Center Street like 6 or more times. took some crazy pictures, watched some crazy people. Watched people watching us crazy people. visited pawn shops. Frightened the locals, Scarred children. Went to Dragons Keep, tried to get a ride back to Dallas's. no one would give us one, so we walked across half the city. From Center Street to Centennial before getting a ride to his house. Got more strange looks. Watched a documentary about Simon and Garfunkel. Formed the three musketeers patrol. Picked up some meds, drove to the mall and listened to music while we waited for Jairen's bus to come. Watched prostitutes get picked up. Oh and let's not forget my latest addition to my wardrobe

Which explains all the Scarring and strange looks. But hey, When Taylor Maid has a sale on strange clothes/costumes, you just gotta go with the pink pants and shiny dress/shirt thing.
all In all, It was quite the day!