Thursday, October 4, 2012

Newfangled Technolologies

   Recently our fridge died, so naturally it had to be replaced. The new one is about the same size, one of them fancy stainless steel ones with the double fridge doors, and a bottom freezer drawer. But here's where things get crazy! The water dispenser. Man that thing is wild! it tells you how much water in ounces it is filling your glass with, in cups, ml or any other relatively small measurement. So what? okay okay not that impressive. Maybe the autofill will impress you. It knows how high to fill your glass all by itself. Still not impressed? Fine. Let me tell you where it gets really wild. That bloody fridge can take your blood pressure. Honest.  It will even show you a slide show of your favorite pictures while doing so. "The built in face recognition software also ensures that no pesky teenagers will be able to access the fridge for some late night munching", that's straight out of the manual. This fridge is pretty top notch. Heck, the other day it even brushed my teeth for me! Wait wait, here's the best part: If a robber happens to break into your house while you're away, the front sensor in the fridge can detect it. Then the fridge does an interior quality test to find the most rotten item of food in it, then proceeds to shoot the projectile rottenness at said robber.
   You probably think I'm writing this to brag about how awesome my fridge is. But I'm afraid that's where you are mistaken. Why on earth would anyone need a fridge that could do all that for them? I thought fridges were for the sole purpose of keeping food cool. Technology these days...