Used up. Burned out. Life. I'm tired of it. I just don't want to go on anymore. I see no point to it. Though I'm not suicidal. But heck, not that even matters in my case, cause truth be told I'd probably just randomly slit my wrist or something cause I was bored. And I know I could do it without even thinking twice. The more I think about it, the less I see what the point of going on. What am I living for? honestly I have no idea. not very psyched about the future. I used to look forward to marriage and all that. But my hope in love has dwindled.But where did I go wrong? I used to be so happy and excited about everything...then last year came around and killed it. Though it's gotten slightly better this year. One of my biggest problems currently is that I don't know what I love to do. Or rather, there is nothing I love to do. Many things I enjoy doing, but I wouldn't say love. The whole Idea of going to college, growing up and working for the rest of my life, then getting old, isn't appealing to me. Even thinking about just doing fun stuff for the rest of my life instead of all that, doesn't sound entertaining. Also I feel like I've turned in to a Jekyll/Hyde case. And every time I try to do what's right it seems like it all goes wrong. Which then leads to thinking "why should I even bother trying to do what's right?" from there I think "I know doing what's right will be best though. result in true happiness". then I attempt doing what's right and the whole cycle starts over again. Used up. Burned out.
I need a vacation.