Knife Fights and pickled watermelon

My dear Sister McKinley and I have quite a grand relationship. Let's just say we get into Knife fights from time to time. we haven't had any for a while until yesterday. We always start "fights" over the most ridiculous things such as sitting in someone else's spot at the dinner table. Then we proceed to chase each other around with various random and highly dangerous objects. Yesterday we had sticks and basketballs. Ran around the yard screaming, tackling, whacking and creating a really dramatic scene. I'm sure it's quite a sight to behold. You ought to consider yourself highly fortunate should you ever happen to witness such an extravaganza. Today's fight at dinner started out with the throwing of food and quickly moved on to Knives and shoes. Fortunately I found a  Book of Mormon and proceeded to banish the devils out of McKinley. I figured a few whacks over the head with the doctrine of god would do it. But alas, she was heavily possessed. My attempt was in vain. So I went for the soup Ladle instead. Just then My mother walked in. Oh yes. she was might angry. See people don't seem to understand that we're just playing. Building beautiful brother sister relationships.  Nothing brings you together like being chased around the house by your sword wielding older brother (stainless steel sword, easier to clean up). You know, quite honestly I'm surprised the cops haven't been called on us yet.

As for Pickled Watermelon............