Saturday, May 26, 2012

Death of a Romantic and Other Happenings

It appears that I may need to clear up a few myths. I have been waiting to write about this for a while, just to make sure. In my typical fashion, I write or say that I'm not in love anymore...and the next day or so I fall in love again. But that is not the case now. It's been three whole months since I've been in love. I don't know when or how it happened, but one day I realized I wasn't romantically interested in anyone. Don't get me wrong, I find many women very attractive and really fun to be around, but I'm just not interested in romantic relations with any. I don't feel like I can flirt anymore either (and maybe I can't). To be honest, the whole thing is really quite freaky. Doesn't make any sense to me. Oh well, it's not like I'm going to get married any time soon, so it probably doesn't matter all that much. I just want friends right now.

Other Happenings. Life has been whack lately. The last month or so, I feel like I've been living in a dream or something. Most things don't seem to affect me. Also I don't really know what to say anymore about anything. I've been more depressed than I generally am, but life has been really hard for me the last seven or so months, for various reasons that I won't mention. And my memory, something terrible has happened to my memory. I forget so much more than I used to. I've had the strangest of moods ever! Like in Seattle this past week. Also, when did I learn so much about baseball? I have become so much more serious in the last couple of months. Maybe more mature and boring too. Certainly less funny. Geez, I feel like I've been alienating myself from the world. But I haven't been doing anything different than I always used to do. I can't figure out whats happened. I still read my scriptures and pray every day. I don't do any drugs, so that certainly isn't it. Hmm, maybe I'm going through puberty again (Sure hope not!). Or my midlife crisis. Guess I'll only live to be 34. Whatever is happening though, I wish it would STOP!

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