continuing the story of my last post.
I had become my own worst enemy. In my state of craziness, I did many regret able things. Things I'm not one bit proud of. I was living in Hell. I was filled with a sickly feeling, and everytime I thought about the things that I did, I wanted to vomit. And yes yes, there are many things worse than what I did, but that's not the point. I'm better than that, and I knew it. My soul was beginning to turn black. I hated being me.
Then I decided to change. I couldn't take it any more. I was at the end of my rope. Suicide seemed like the way to go. Just end it all. But through a fortunate spell of divine intervention, I opened my scriptures. And that's something I'd never really done before. I never read scriptures. I liked Seminary for some reason, but I hated church. Truth be told, I had never really care much for religion. But I started reading. And the moment I did, my happiness level skyrocketed. The evil was gone. Suddenly I was full of joy, calmness, I was content. And I began to read every day. Things were going so much better. Life was beautiful again. And It lasted for quite a while. Until I messed up again. And man do I regret it. I knew it was wrong. But I did it anyways. And I fell right back into the pit. Darkness. Life was terrible again. This time, a few good friends were there to save me. whether they know it or not. They seemed to say to me "Come with us, live the good life. you can do it! so come on". And I know that I will never ever be able to repay them for what they did. But they saved my life. I got back on the path again. Started reading scriptures, praying, going to church, seminary, all that good good stuff. Once again, Life became beautiful. I loved it. And there was Peace. Nothing seemed to affect me, or at least not as much. The mounds of homework weren't stressful. I just took my time, and tackled it. I was flying on a different cloud. The happiest I have ever been in my entire life. Because I started to do what was right, follow what I know to be true. Soon after, I received my Patriarchal blessing. and Wow. What a powerful experience that was. I told me about everything I could ever ever possibly want out of life, and how to get it. that all the stupid stuff I was worrying about, doesn't even matter. There are greater things out there! For the most part, the last few months of my life have been simply amazing. Things have been peaceful. I've been happy. But life is hard. sometimes you slip up a little. But by living the gospel, in these few hard times recently, all kinds of little miracles have been happening. I feel like I've learned so much. And there is still alot I hope to learn.
In closing, I just want to say how grateful I am for Jesus Christ, The gospel, Scriptures, family, and the best friends anyone could ever have. Prayers are answered, and boy do I know it. The scriptures are true (if you don't believe me, pick up a copy of The Book of Mormon for yourself and give it a try. you won't be disappointed). And because of all that, my quality of life has increased. Nothing can stand in my way anymore. I know what I want, I know the way I want my life to be, and this is it. The life of true happiness.