Throwing in the Towel

I finally lost. Gave up. finished with love. I can't take it any more. It's made a mess of my mind and left me for dead. I came to the realization this summer that I could have a girlfriend if I wanted. But to quote one of my favorite lyrics: "If I can't have the girl I love, I don't want none at all". Which leads to the next issue. I'm not even sure if I'm still in love at this point. I want to be! I mean truth be told I am, but it feels different now. In fact, some days I'm not in love, but others I am so hopelessly it makes me sick. Maybe I'm just bipolar...ought to walk out in a field and shoot myself in the stomach then, like Van Gogh. Actually, that's too boring, I'd rather drive off a cliff or something (Don't worry though, I'm not planning on doing that any time really soon).  Anyways, I may say I'm done with love, but let's be honest, It always manages to reel me back in...sooner than I expect too. Probably by next week some new girl will walk into my heart or the same old one (cause she tends to do that a lot). I think my biggest problem is I'm generally pretty awful at noticing social cues. I mean dead awful! you pretty much have to just straight out tell me things otherwise I begin to over think. man I really wish I could just stop thinking for a while. I feel like I have nothing to say anymore. like my well of wit has begun to dry up. I need a mental vacation or two. As Dallas would say "when you're mind is all melancholy, listen to some Simon and Garfunkel" and I think I shall.